Poker dan Puasa Sunat.

Semalam sambil main poker secara tidak serius(no money on the table) dengan budak-budak rumah, aku check tweet, ada org tweet pasal puasa sunat.Esok which mean hari ini dah masuk 1 Rejab.Aku niat nak puasa,Ajak kawan -kawan semuanya buat muka poker face,but dont get me wrong, housemate aku semuanya good lads i noe them for ages since in the college years lagi.Kalau nak di buat calon suami aku rasa mereka semua layak dan cukup syarat, but sorry single lady's out there, they all taken already.

Hari ne pagi-pagi lagi aku dah teguk air sejuk dlm fridge dahaga benor nampaknya,pegi keje lewat mcm biasa, settle hal remeh - temeh pasal keje mcm biasa jugak semuanya mcm biasa tidak ada yang luar biasa kehidupan sehari-hari adalah rutin.Selepas berteguk2 air kopi aku minum aku baca blog pise  dishh!! satu facepalm diberikan, hari ini 1 Rejab and im totally forgot about it. 

Rasa rugi betul.

P/s- Mood menulis dah slowly kembali aku rasa,but to put those words like i usually do is still

       a big deal for me.to put a finer point to it, whenever i read my recent write up it doesn't feels  

       like me anymore its doesn't connect  in  any  way that i used to felt before.

Worth it.

Akan terbit.

Dream.If i want to publish my 12 EP of my short  halfiction series that i wrote last few years , i want the book cover to be like this.But yeah how can i publish an unfinished series and to send my unfinished maid typing to the penguin books as my publisher?.Seriously?.Who am i?  kafka? murakami?,steinback?,Kundera?how i wish i am as talented as one of those im not dreaming to publish a book all i ever wanted is to be able to write again like i used to before.I really hope that i can get back to my writing soon...its been a while, really.

A Man who lose his words.

The worst things that can happen to a man is when he can no longer write about how he feels upon every single thing.And to describe my feeling and whats in my head now and turns it into words are my biggest problem rite now.Even to write down 'today i ate bla bla bla..' doesn't sounds right for me.

It used to be easy before.Hours and hours sitting infront of my laptop with a glass of nice medium roast illy ground coffee and a soothing tune from my genius I tunes playlist is all i need to turn all those thought into words that yet become a part of my way out to ease the pain..the kind of pain that i've carried for most of my life.

Something that used to be so easy before somehow now turns to be so hard and i didn't even know how to describe it here how is it actually.That is how worst of the worst its get.

Some how i feel like a nocturnal who try so hard to be a morning person.

I do.

And I happen to love the Sea.

Its been 5 month already and i still cant write.Sad.

21st century creation.

They said we can be anything.Tadao Ando is a Self -Taught Architect,and in this case he is my hero.Screw PAM and all the Certs.As long as you keep learning and mastering the knowledge You can be what ever you want to be. 

A separation.

 

 Generally i think most of the people when we talk or heard about Iran, it is always associated with their Outspoken anti western colonialism leader Ahmadinejad and their potentially going to war with the Israel based on some huge scale of military exercise and their Nuclear plant Issued,and generally that about it.Thats what weve been feed on the news every single day and for most people they just feeds on that without digging in to the other sources as they don't really care much about what ever shit that had spinning around the world that they live in today.Thats for a very general preamble about Iran.

What i really want to talk about Iran is not about their current issues with the western world,but about their film.For me no doubt that the Persian had produced a few great film some of it had bagged a huge succes in the film festival all around the globe.This film is one of it.A few friends  had tweeted about this film with highly recommendation a must watch ones, and as for me i took more than ones recommendation to watch a film.Somehow while i was at the pirate CD-Dvd store somewhere in Danau Kota last saturday night i stumble upon this huge blue ray disk collection of foreign language film and some old rare film that Ive never heard of or read in any website before was there too.with high anticipation and pretty hype interest i flip the Cds one by one untill i came across this film with the same exact cover like the poster above. But i didn't buy it because like i said it takes more than ones recommendation for me to do so. I did my own digging to find out.

I found that A Separation is a great film And here me now blogging about this and yes it is a must watch film for me i maybe a lil bit too late for this because the film had already been released last year but at least i dint stand by a popular demand or opinions i do my own dig before jump into something and be among the hip.  

The credits rolls for this film.A Separation by  Asghar Farhadi  is a must watch at least for me.Ok now time to buy the CD.

Perkara hal 109 dan 111-Mengembara hingga ke Venezuela dan Membuka Kedai kopi Sendiri.

Semalam aku bercakap dengan seorang kawan dalam bahasa asing full british accent yang dibuat-buat and feeling like a Sir.Sambil buat sandwich tuna with cheese dgn whole wheat bread berkualiti tinggi from Sun Moulin bakery,mahal tapi worth it.Sandwich tu turn out to be very deliciously eatable.Rasanya aku rasa lagi sedap dari that fucking overpriced O Briens.Mungkin aku patut berhenti kerja dan buka coffee shop and Owns my own signature brand of coffee.Aku suka minum kopi tapi aku tak pernah terfikir untuk ada my own brand of coffee.Aku masukkan ini dlm list dan letakkan ianya di tangga keseratus sebelas dua anak tangga di belakang perkara mengembara seorang diri serupa Alexander Supertramp hingga ke Angel falls Venezuela,Amerika Selatan, yang entah bila aku boleh cross from the list...

Semalam aku bercakap dengan seorang kawan.katanya hari ini hari baiknya(aku direct translationkan alih bahasanya) dalam bahasa english.Dia kata lagi hari ini dia mendapat panggilan dari Milan,Aku ucap tahniah 'Good for you man!' aku kata, and i really meant it.Kawan aku senyum riang,aku tahu hatinya berbunga riang tiada siapa di dunia ini yang hatinya tidak berbunga riang bila mimpi yang dirancang atau boleh jadi yang tidak dirancang tercapai.

Aku masuk bilik aku tutup lampu,aku baring. Sebelum aku tutup mata dan bermimpi aku ulang apa yang kawan aku beritahu aku tadi.'Hari ini hari baik aku..Aku akan ke Venezuela.Hati aku bermimpi untuk berbunga riang sepertinya.

The Fundamental of Brutalist design,Style or philosophy?

I still remembered the quote from the book that i read last year, that sounds like this.`things change,friends leave and life stop for nobody~ Charlie,the perk of being a wall flower.It is so true.How i find that indeed life never waits for anybody. Its like an on going bus that never stop moving. This year is probably the last year for me working as the 3D Designer .Yeah things change now the company had table me the offer before but i keep  saying no and frankly, i didnt noe why i said no.Maybe its about time too plus i always said that being a 3D designer is not really what id wanted to.I give my self another one year to go and when i think everything is on the good hand then ill let go,hopefully i can really let it go insyallah.

So what all this had to do with the title of my post? the answer is, it got nothing to do at all,believe me i had a problem with my writing in this couple of month and that title is the best title that i can think of,and this One and almost half paragraph post that i wrote here takes me two day to finish. Thats how bad my Writers block syndrom are.

The Invisible her.

 

"She tweeted ure sitting across nobody.. :( "

This is what ive seen every single day.Not just in this couple of years.. most of it.Sometimes when you so get  used to something its eventually becomes a part of you.So Dont feel sorry nor sad for me and please turn the frown up because i'll just fine..

She was there actually but in a form of invisible and only those eyes with love in their heart who can see it...

i can see it.The Invisible her.

P/s-Get well soon.

On the Road.

"I tried to tell her how excited i was about life and the things we could do together. Saying that and planning to leave Denver in two days.She turned her back wearily .We lay our backs looking at the ceiling and wondering what God had wrought when He made life so sad.."

- page 51

"I like to many things and get all confused and hung up running one falling star to another till i drop.This is the night what it does to you.I had nothing to offer except my own confusion."

- page 113.

I read On the road Last year, and above is some excerpt-ion from the book that i like.On the road is probably Jack's most finest book and brilliant blend of fiction and autobiography  that defined the 'Beat' generation and of course became like a bible of the counterculture for nowadays hipster.